Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Here Comes Another Bride

So, if you haven't heard, as of April 18, I am officially a wife-to-be.  It appears that after 3 and a half years putting up with all the theatrics that are Jamie Armer,  Mike has decided he can do it for a lifetime.  We're all hoping that a new last name will curb some of the neuroses. We're giving ourselves a year to get together some kind of nuptial shindig in which there will generous libations and all the other  happenings that occur when two lovebirds such as ourselves get hitched . That said, I've spent the last month getting schooled in all that is old, new, borrowed and blue and here are some of the more important things I've learned:

It's not cool to announce your engagement on Myspace/Facebook
Apparently it really ticks people off to find out such big news through their favorite social networking site.  In my defense, I called everyone who I thought should be called (i.e. anyone whose phone number was stored in my cell phone) within about 14 nano seconds of him putting the ring on my finger and the two of us spent our entire first betrothed weekend on the phone chatting it up with friends and relatives around the country.  So the mass e-nouncement probably wasn't the best idea, but I was excited and I wanted to get the news out as quickly as possible.  A huge chunk of my life is dedicated to getting The News out as quickly as possible and it's a hard habit to shake.  I still feel pretty bad about hurting peoples' feelings and  all so if you would like me to call you so we can discuss my engagement please send me your phone number and I will do so. 

Everyone expects you to have some kind of complicated engagement story
It's the same deal as when I graduated college and everyone asked me what I was going to do with the rest of my life -- they never seem satisfied with my answer. Ours was cute and simple. He took me to the Sandia Crest.  He got down on one knee. I said yes and called him a punkass. It was cold so we went home.  People always seem so disappointed when I tell them this story that it makes me feel like I should start embellishing a bit. Next time someone asks me how he proposed I'm going to say "Well, for some reason I was standing all alone on Sandia Crest in a beautiful evening gown, when all of the sudden Mike drops out of the sky via a white satin parachute and when he hits the ground a 20 piece brass band comes out of nowhere and starts playing our favorite song, then he gets down on one knee and I look up and notice we're on the jumbotron, and I start to cry and say 'Yes! Yes! Of course!' and the whole crowd erupts in applause and then the Pope comes out and tells us congratulations." Maybe that will keep them satisfied.

You will be judged on your engagement ring even more than your shoes
Mike and I discussed getting engaged long before it actually happened and I made it very clear to him that I did not want a typical engagement ring -- particularly, I did not want a diamond.  I really really wanted some type of blue stone and spent a lot of time daydreaming while googling aquamarine and topaz but I could never really find anything online that I absolutely loved.  Mike, being the geologist, opted to go with a sapphire because of some complicated geological reason that I don't understand, perhaps because it has good cleavage, and picked out one of the most beautiful stones I have ever seen and had it set in a elegant swirl setting.  It is the perfect. I have, however,  had a mixed reaction from the public.  I've had a few people give me sad eyes and say "Well, you can get a diamond later on in life,"  as if my sapphire is some kind of placeholder for compressed carbon.  Trust me, we didn't go cheap with my ring -- we went with what I wanted -- which is worth more than anything else anyway.  I've also been given a few "Well.. that's unique.  I wouldn't have gone with it myself, but..." Well, that's why I'm engaged and you're not, bitch.  And of course there's the "It's uh, 'pretty'" FUCK OFF.  It's my ring and it makes me so happy I want to burst into a billion little bits of sapphire joy which will severely irritate the contact lenses of the cynics of the world, thus making them cry tears of joy, sapphire joy. 

The point is, everyone has an opinion, and when it comes to getting married, everyone has two, but unless  they're going to somehow get tied in that knot with you, the only that matters is what a makes the Mr. and the Mrs. (THAT'S GOING TO BE ME!! YAY!) happy.  We've got a lifetime of not doing what everyone expects us to do ahead of us and it's way too early in the game to let it start getting us down.